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Skye Bar. I see the most awesomest costume ever. Six girls dressed up as the Mario Kart characters. Not only do they have character costumes on, but they have on actual karts that have balloons tied to them just like the game. I turn to my left; one of them running around like crazy. Oh shit! Chick has fucking working headlights and actual power up icons on the ground. Now THAT"s how to make a fucking costume.

I haven't been much of an ass lately. It's Halloween, so I'll make an exception for tonight. A girl on the escalator ahead of us...

Me: "Look at her boots! How many bison did she have to kill for those!?"

Me: "She has no ass! It's like a back with a crack!"

Me: "What is she suppose to be? A rejected Playboy Bunny!? She's like the Playboy Bunny that didn't make it! She's the fucking Playboy Jackal!"

Of course everyone around me is laughing. We get to the top of the escalator...

Her: "What are you!?"

Me: "A black guy."

Her: "You won't say any of what you said, to my face."

Me: "You're absolutely right."

Her: "You are a jerk!"

Me: "I know."

Her: "Where's your costume!? Can't afford one!?"

Me: "I'm so poor."

And of course I'm just pissing her off even further by being relaxed and agreeing with everything she's saying. And you know the huge grin on my face is the icing on the cake. Gotta love it when you can get under the skin of a hot girl.

We meet up with Big Country, Flannery, and Walkintall. We gotta get you guys some girls. We decide to head to Panini's.

I introduce Big Country as...

Me: "He's a Jonas Brother."