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I would be terrried, too. The difference is that my terror of the man would feel deeply erotic and thrilling to me. (By way of contrast, I would not feel aroused at all if he pointed a knife or a gun at me, even though I would also find that terrifying. Because in that case it would not be the physical strength of his masculine body that I feared, but rather an inanimate object. I have no erotic attraction to inanimate objects, so there is no thrill for me in being afraid of them.)

So the man punching something near my head is indeed terrifying and even "extreme" as you say -- and that's exactly why it's so thrilling to me. But is it "violent"?? Not if one restricts the word "violence" to something that causes actual physical harm; in that case, it's much less violent than even the most gentle spanking. But people often use the word "violent" to refer to an extreme of passion, and not just the infliction of physical harm. In that case, it would be violent; but since I think extreme passion is a good thing, that implies that sometimes "violence" is good.

But it does not at all indicate a "lack of self-control." The whole reason why he's punching something next to her head, instead of punching her in the face, is precisely because he DOES have control over it. I agree that it would be unappealing in the extreme if the man had no self-control; because then I could not trust him, and I can enjoy being terrified by his strength only if I can feel sure that he won't actually cause me any serious injuries.

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I agree with you that punching things seems a bit too violent and scary to me. My husband, also agrees. He has no desire to scare me. When things move toward a position where he feels that he needs to assert some control. He never does anything frightening...
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