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« The Mathematics of BeautyWhat?’s So Wrong With Not Wanting to Be Alone? » Women & Ricky Gervais Rule January 23, 2011 by lwarrell

There are two important truths to glean from this past week’s news: women are slowly taking over the world and movie stars are idiots.

Ladies first.

The University of Texas has released the results of yet another study destined to make women want to heave themselves off the Empire State Building. Previous research done by the school suggested curvy women never marry and beautiful women cheat. Now, they’re rehashing the “successful women have fewer mates available to them and thus will end up sad and alone” baloney.

Nowadays, the study says, women far outnumber men in American colleges by 57 and 43 percent respectively. When they enter the workforce, women also make more money. This has created a “boy crisis” and an “imbalance that tips relationship power in the direction of the men. Instead of men competing for women, today women feel like they must compete for men.” Since all men supposedly want is sex, young gals are offering easily accessible booty to bait them. Consequently, men aren’t buying the cow when they can get the milk for free.

But wait a minute. There are more women in college than men? Ladies are the ones bringing home the bacon? Maybe the hidden gem in this maddening study is that the balance of power has shifted.

I can’t wait to see girls sipping beers and surrounding the dance floor at nightclubs while men dance around hoping to get noticed. Imagine groups of women describing how their husbands complain about girls’ nights out and spend all their money on Xbox games. The times they are a’changin’.

The other insignificant but fun piece of news is Ricky Gervais getting into deep doo after making fun of celebs at the Golden Globe Awards. I didn’t see the show because, frankly, there hasn’t been an interesting star in Hollywood since Clooney made it out of ER. The last time I watched an award show, Nicole Kidman could still move her forehead.

Oh, how very Gervais of me. Usually though, I’m against blatant meanness. But with a few exceptions, I found lots of Gervais’ gibes to be spot on.

Celebrities, and we as their fans, suffer the illusion these people are special. Indeed, some of them are extraordinarily talented, attractive and sometimes even kind. But they are not above reproach or even ridicule if, while under our watch, they choose to make fools of themselves, abuse others or do their jobs half-assed. If you get to make $20 million every time your mug’s in a movie for ninety minutes and we all have to pay $12 to see it, you better work your pretty little tails off to make it a decent flick. If not, Johnny and Angelina, Ricky Gervais gets to make fun of you.

If you’re a pampered individual with several homes and enough money to take daily baths in champagne, best not be an anti-Semite drunkard who abuses every woman he comes across, from police officers to gold digging wives. Mel.

Charlie Sheen isn’t some tragic figure trying not to end up on the street while battling an addiction. He’s a spoiled party boy from Hollywood “royalty” who makes $2 million per episode of his show. Then he blows it all on thousand-dollar call girls when he hits a rough spot. Gee, poor Charlie.