shantewfischer

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Children get caught in the middle and find it difficult to choose which parent to listen to, especially if there is abusive confrontation between them. Children love them both, even if there is a stronger connection with one; the love is still there for the other.

Parents need to remember that whichever person leaves the family home to a child it is an ending and a time of uncertainty. There will be feelings of loss and grief; the family will be feeling the impact of a loss, even if the divorce or separation is a mutual agreement.

Parents who are in this constant turmoil and confrontation take away rationality and can become obsessed with hurting the ex-partner. The anger confuses perception and they become lost in the fog of hurt, anger, rage and feelings of loss. They become so engulfed in the raw emotions that children can become possessions that they must keep and have on side.

Things to remember and NEVER do when there is a separation or divorce.

Many parents who are engulfed by toxic anger withhold access or visitations rights of younger children. They distance themselves or bribe older children to encourage the child to stay with them. They use the child as a way to hurt the ex-partner or place guilt on the child, so they come home. They will sit in the background and lead conversations over the telephone putting pressure on the child.